Jan 08 2009
Winds of Change
There is sadness that has a hold of me today. I woke up at 5 am, just a little 5 hours of sleep. I peeked out the window, it was all foggy. The snow has started melting from overnight rain. I don’t like the rain…. Rain is depressing and makes people cry. We feel the slowness of things, it’s silent, misty and it’s the tears that makes us weak.
I turned on the telly, watching the world in minutes. It was a mistake, too many sad news, alot of bombings, issues on global recession…there will never be peace on earth. This is what I believe in, no matter if a great man like Obama steps in on the 20th and tries his very best. The world is scary and strange in a lot of ways. Some are programmed to rule and destroy while others work hard in spreading good deeds. We all know it & wonder why? Enough current events and media crap!
I need to get ready, I am going to work even if I received bad news from my Specialist yesterday.I’ve learned that once again, I am going under a surgeon’s knife and now it’s more serious and complicated. That’s what’s occupying my mind, just to be truthful of the facts. Somehow I am convincing myself that I am unshakeable. My doctor blatantly toldme, “we’re taking your uterus out, and that’s all we need to do”. It’s called “partial abdominal hysterectomy”! I’m like…Sure!!! Idon’t need it. Go ahead! what else do you want? He laughed but he knows behind those words that I uttered were concerns. It was different though this time. My reactions were abrupt and just ready to go with the flow.
Here i go again. I must accept change coming my way. I pictured myself for a moment…withering like a rose. I can tell I am in a strange state because I have not the slightest inkling what I mean. All that clicked to me …was my family. It’s my hubby…he over thinks sometimes and he gets all weird. I know he just loves me and wants me to be okay. He’ll pray for me, no doubt.
We’ll fight later… kiss and make up! Everything’s back to normal. I should go. I want some tea.
Felt both happy and sad… You’re dealing with this problem like a strong warrior who had overcome so much in the past. God’s gifted you with a thankful heart alright, and you made it blossom thru the years… To read about this news, and view those comical pix with you and your kids goofin’ around (on FS) is pretty extraordinary! There really is no way to quash a strong & cheerful Spirit- the body can try, but it will always fail… I celebrate you Imee!
From my dark corner I look up and see wings flattering aganist the window and know that a God who can make a butterfly from a caterpillar can surely make something new of me… I may be scared and weak but I am very hopeful in life. The resilient heart withstands the winds of change, just as the flexible branch of a tree bends but does not break.